Crunchy or Smooth?

My dad used to have a saying; "never trust a man who won't take a drink."

Now if you know my dad, you know he is not much of a drinker himself. Although he will have an occassional beer, but that is usually after arriving at my house after having battled Atlanta rush hour traffic (if any of you have never been in Atlanta rush hour traffic, it would make the Pope drink, take my word for it).

No, the point of his saying was not that a raging alchoholic should be trusted implicitly. Rather the point is there is something non trust worthy about a "tee-totler."

Think about the old American Westerns. If you walk into the saloon all dirty and dusty and I slide you a whiskey down the bar...and you DON'T drink it, then you are a man with something to hide. I should fill you full of lead on the spot lest you shoot me in the back.

Same with peanut butter. I can tell all I need to know about a man by offering him the simple choice: crunchy or smooth?

If you say smooth, that is 1-2-3 strikes and you are out! Who eats creamy peanut butter? I bet Brutus ate creamy PB.....so did Lee Harvey Oswald and it's a well known fact that The Grinch and Bear Bryant were creamy PB eaters. (By the way, the Entire New York Yankess baseball team eat creamy PB).

No, real men eat crunchy and its that CRUNCH that makes a man a man.