SHHHHH. Swedes are eating

Now this is going to sound negative, but let me first say that we love Sweden and the Swedish people. Things that may seem strange or curious in one culture are perfectly normal in another. Additionally, as a typical "loud American" the following may have little credibility...but here goes.

Swedes don't talk when they eat dinner in public. Ok, ok...I am exaggerating a bit. If you go into Stockholm to the places where the younger generations are, it is quite lively and seems pretty normal to an outsider.

However I can't tell you how many times we have gone to dinner as a family and witnessed a room full of people eating...and literally saying nothing. How can you eat without talking?

Most recently we were in Gotland (see Elizabeth's post on Gotland) staying at a hotel by the Baltic Sea. The hotel offered breakfast each morning and we would go down to enjoy some good food. But it does make it a bit difficult to enjoy you meal when all you can hear from a group of strangers is the sound of forks and knives clanking on the plates and piercing the serenity of the morning.

I am quite sure the Swedes that dine with us feel exactly the opposite. They are probably going back to their room talking about the Obnoxious Americans. That being said, why would you go and eat with your partner or your family if you aren't going to say anything?

Hmmm you are thinking...what does he mean by "silent" - by silent, I mean silent...like as in dead silent, middle of the night with everyone sleeping silent...tree NOT falling in the forest silent...funeral silent.

This summer we were in the south of Sweden on vacation. We went into the hotel restaurant and there were approximately 15-20 other people eating. Outside of a few "sighs" I am telling you they was not a word passed between the tables.

My solution? Next time we go to dinner we are buying schnapps (see Swedish wedding) for everyone within a four table radius. Hell I know our family is loud...might as well get some singing going so we can eat.

Swedish Weddings and the role of the Toast Master

Long time no post...Elizabeth has been keeping up the blog lately, but I have been wanting to share some thoughts and experiences we have had over the past months.

Recently we were fortunate enough to be invited to our first Swedish wedding. Our friends Jesper and Karin were married and their one year old daughter Ebba was Christened on the same day near Trosa, Sweden. Trosa is a beautiful little coastal town about 45 minutes drive from Stockholm.

While there are many similarities between American and Swedish weddings, I will share a few differences for fun.

At Swedish weddings the "toasts" or "speeches" as they call them are a big deal to say the least. I have been to countless American weddings where friends and family stand up to share their thoughts, memories and well-wishes. It is always a good time, but I have to say our "shoot from the hip" style is no match for Swedish wedding "speech."

You need to know this before going any further. Swedes don't go to the bathroom without a plan, and the wedding speech is no different. A pre-chosen "Toast-Master" resides over the post wedding dinner. In the case of Jesper and Karin's wedding it was 2 toast masters. The drill is as follows: prior to the dinner (maybe months prior) you contact the toast masters and let him or her know that you plan to make a speech. If the toast master agrees, then you are essentially added to the speech agenda.

(Editors note: Prior to the wedding Jesper's dad stood up and addressed 8 of us at the dinner. In English he welcomed us to the wedding and then kindly informed us that his welcome would be the last thing we would hear in English. From that point on everything was in Swedish. However, he did point out that we had plenty of great food and good wine to keep ourselves occupied.)

From this point forward the Toast master runs the program deciding when and who will speak. They are essentially the Masters of Ceremony ensuring the proper flow and energy are applied. It may sound too formal, but it actually works pretty well. If you have a good toast master (and I think we did) it keeps the evening moving along in an interesting way. Of course they could have been making jokes about the silly English speaking guests and wouldn't have known. We laughed when people laughed and looked sad when people cried. But essentially we took Jesper's dad's advice and drank the good wine and ate the good food!

The other basic difference in the Swedish wedding is that married couples don't sit together. In an attempt to have their guests mingle with other friends and family, you are separated at the sit down dinner. You have a "partner" that you share toast with and engage in conversation within between the speeches (and for all my guy friends that ask if she was "hot" I will just let Elizabeth answer that). I discovered pretty soon that at an all Swedish wedding having a Swede sitting next to you is quite important. They can help guide you through the dinner with a limited number of gaffs (remember I am from Alabama).

The last difference is the singing. It is a curious characteristic about the Swedish people. They are extremely reserved, but give them a few shots of schnapps and they become extremely social...but more than anything they can and will burst into song.

It was a very nice occasion and we had a great time. Unfortunately for us Karin and Jesper have moved to Taiwan. Unfortunately for them, they moved just in time for Typhoon season. However, we wish them the best and hope they come home for Christmas...so they can bring us lots of cheap electronics!